Things are getting easier, slowly... Definately not better, but easier. I’m finding it easier to focus more on my work, easier in my home life, easier to get through the days, etc.
I’ve been trying to find the good in all of this the past few days. There are a couple of things. Don’t get me wrong, if I had it my way I’d have my dear Fuzzy growing healthily & strongly inside of me, and have to go without all of these other ‘good’ things, but unfortunately that’s not the way it’s meant to be and as such, I’m trying to find the good in all of this.
I don’t know how to word it right, but for lack of better words, I feel closer to C. I feel like I’m falling deeper & deeper in love with him every day – if that’s possible? I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I know we created Fuzzy together, and that’s just an amazing thing to be able to do. An amazing ability & we did it. I’m so proud of both of us.
Now we know we CAN is the BEST thing ever about all of this.
Laura mentioned another good one last night. It’s a bit of a cheeky one, but oh so true. Now I get to drink at my hens (coming up in just a few weeks), and my wedding. YAY! Admittedly I was sort of wondering how my hens would pan out (given it’s going to be a whole weekend) with not drinking. God how I wished I hadn’t thought that now…
I’ve still got my book “The Secret” which I’m going to start reading again. I really think that had a positive influence over my falling pregnant. I started reading it about 2 months ago, and really started putting the positive affirmations in to place. I’m going to start saying more of them. At the moment the one I say is “My body & I are ready to create a happy, healthy, full term pregnancy”. I know that if I say it enough times it will come true.
I often sit here & envisage myself 12 months or 2 years from now with a gorgeous baby / infant in my arms to nestle, love & cherish.
I had my appt at my GP yesterday afternoon. She was so lovely. It was sorta confronting at first since she’d only received a copy of my first lot of bloods (confirming I was pregnant) and not the 2nd (confirming we’d lost Fuzzy). But once she saw my face she knew. She was lovely about it all, so supportive. I talked to her for quiet a while, probably around 20 minutes about it all – before, during & after (the now). She has given me a referral to get more bloods done at days 21, 22 & 23 of my next proper cycle – once I start another period – just to ensure the progesterone levels are still up there, as they should be. Because I’ve been doing a lot of research lately, particularly in to herbal remedies and so forth, and have found a lot of very interesting one’s I’m thinking about trying. Evening Primrose Oil, Flaxseed Oil, along with the Folic Acid I’m currently taking, Natal Complete, herbal liquid remedy, and the list goes on!
Anika is doing extremely well following. She still asks some questions, but that's a 7 year olf's curious mind. That’s just her. She’s totally little miss ‘no worries’. Finds the good in everything. She has made me so many "Get Well Soon" cards and given me so many "I love you"s, it's just great. I love her so much, and cannot wait to give her a baby brother or sister.
Off for now,
xox
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