That has been done, quiet successfully I think. I have now created another Blog, which you can find here - http://www.journeytostickybun.blogspot.com/ which I will post on from now on.
I'm ready to write a tribute to you my dear Fuzzy Angel..
I'm sorry I haven't done it sooner, it's taken quiet a while for me to adjust I think. Adjust to the fact that one day I had you, I was dreaming about you, I couldn't wait to meet you, the next you were gone. :(
But I am ok now. Just ok for now. I don't know if I'll ever get 'over it'. I don't think I should have to. You were a part of me, and I've lost you. :(
But we're coming through the other side, together. Chad & I. I must admit, the support I've felt from so many people has just been overwhelming. The girls on the forum, my dear Chad, my sister Lene & Laura. They're the most influential throughout this whole journey.
I will more than likely still come in to this thread, when something pops in to my mind I'd like to record, or when I feel like writing something about Fuzzy.
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Fuzzy, I'm sorry I haven't wrote this sooner, it's taken quiet a while for me to adjust I think. Adjust to the fact that one day I had you, I was dreaming about you, I couldn't wait to meet you, the next you were gone. :(
But I am ok now. Just ok for now. I don't know if I'll ever get 'over it'. I don't think I should have to. You were a part of me, and I've lost you. :(
But we're coming through the other side, together, Daddy & I. I must admit, the support I've felt from so many people has just been overwhelming. Really nice. Daddy's just been amazing, although at times he doesn't know what to say/do, him just being there is the best feeling ever. The girls on the forum, my sister Lene & Laura - my best friend. They're the most influential throughout this whole journey and I don't know what if I lost you & didn't have each and every one of them.
I love you Fuzzy.
I miss you so much my heart aches every day. I know it will get easier, and I understand that it takes time, I just wish I never had to endure losing you in the first place.
The 29th August I would have been at that 3 month mark, at the end of the first trimester.
We're in August now. It's 'the' month. That is the date I couldn't wait to reach - that meant I had you. Forever. In my mind that was my 'secure' date.
I can't believe I lost you. :( Sure, you were still so small, and some people will never understand why I miss you so much when I only had you such a short time, but as for me.. I never knew I could, or had the ability to, love someone so much that I had never met.
You were someone to me, to us. You weren't just 'in my tummy'. You were a person evolving. A person, none the less.
We'd thought about names, I'd thought about what room in the house would be yours, how you would change our lives for the better, what you'd be like, whether you'd have Daddy's chubby fingers, what you & Anika would fight like (being siblings!) as the years went on, how proud our parents would be... I thought about you so much. Day in, day out.
I still do.
Someone that was still so small, and had only been in our lives for a matter of days. It's so amazing. What a gift. I never knew I could feel these type of feelings.
But now, thanks to you, I know that's all possible and for that I will be eternally grateful.
I plan to plant a tree for you this weekend, in your honour. I will plant it in a pot, so that when we eventually buy a home, we can take you with us. We'll then plant you at our home - where you'll belong for life. It's the least we, I, can do. To say thank you. Thank you for coming in to my life, even though it was for such a short time. Thank you for showing me I have the ability to feel these type of feelings I never knew existed, let alone were possible. Thank you for changing my life. It is that you have done. Fully.
I will forever be grateful.
Fly high Fuzzy Angel, keep Poppy company up there, and always look down on your sister, Anika. She misses you too. I can't wait to give you (& Anika) a baby brother or sister - I know you'll watch over him/her in mummy's belly & keep them safe.
Mummy & Daddy will miss you forever. xxx
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